


JingleSkrrrt- A Merry Jooheon Christmas

by Charlie Rotanev (Immerghensi)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Crack, M/M, Sound Effects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 10:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17181086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immerghensi/pseuds/Charlie%20Rotanev
Summary: It's that time of year again as the MX household prepares for Jooheon's unstoppable love for festivities.





	JingleSkrrrt- A Merry Jooheon Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I had this one sitting around for a while but I never got around to posting it.... Better late then never I guess?

When he wakes up to the sound of gunshots, cash registers, and air horns, Hyunwoo wonders if he's fallen asleep in the living room again while Minhyuk is playing video games.  
_One wall_  
_Two walls_  
Nope, still in his room and in bed. So what--  
  
"Shit." Hyunwoo rolls over to snatch his phone off the nightstand, tumbling onto the floor in the process.  
  
_December 13._  
  
The blood in his veins freezes, his face drained of color. There's a loud scream, followed by pans falling, followed by air raid sirens.  
  
Jooheon is getting ready for Christmas.

  
**

The door closes with some difficultly and a little bit of strong-arming, but eventually it clicks behind him, supporting the force of their collective body mass being squeezed inside. 

"Alright," grunts Hyunwoo, suddenly feeling the effects of restricted lungspace, "everyone here?"

"Just about everyone, yeah..." Kihyun grumbles, "Did we really have to do this? I know there's no stopping Joohoney when he goes full Saint Nick, but did we really have to do the 6-person broom closet meeting again?"

From his right, Hyungwon jostles him with his elbow, now pinned beneath the other vocal's. "It's the only place he won't come looking for us. Besides, he's too busy to notice."

"I know it's hot in here, I know it's cramped. The faster we get through this, the faster we get out of here. Everyone has the managers on speed dial?"

"Yes..." They respond, monotone. 

"And the police?" 

"Yes..."

"And the fire department?"

"Yes..."

"And Home Depot?"

"Oh come on, that was only one time!" Changkyun turns his body, clearly unhappy being reminded of the Chimney Snorkeling incident from last year. 

"Be alert, be ready. You remember what happened last year and the year before that and the year before that. We can't stop everything, but we can at least manage it." Hyunwoo looks between each of his teammates, who are all squished into one another and in darkness.

"Awesome, meeting adjourned." He feels around for the doorknob blindly, earning a 'oof' from Minhyuk and an 'ouch' from Hoseok and a 'HOLY MOSES' from Kihyun as they all come tumbling out into a heap onto the floor. 

**

On the third day of Merry Chysler, Hyunwoo finds some chickens in the common room. They aren’t being obnoxious or anything; he actually didn’t know they were there until he walked in.  
  
He struggles to find the right words, settling on a strangled, "Jooheon.... What....?"  
  
The younger turns to face him. "Oh hey, hyung. I couldn't find french hens so I got these instead."  
  
"You got them where, exactly...?"  
  
He holds up his arms, which are covered in scratches and bruises. The smile on his face tells him the boy's more than fine, which is only a little concerning given the circumstances. "From the woods."  
  
".....um. Well. I’m going to have to talk to some people if you have any intentions of keeping them for an extended period of time." Hyunwoo spins on his heels, walking into his room. He stops, then walks back out to double check that what happened wasn’t an illusion. There’s a loud squawking.

 

_Nope. Not a dream._

 

Hyunwoo lets the dial tone ring as he prepares to explain to their manager what’s going on. This is going to be one long holiday season.

  
**

He comes downstairs to break up what he can only describe as a verbal fistfight. The soundproofing in his room is really something- he hadn’t had a clue it was going on until Hyungwon had swung by.

 

“Kihyun is about to kill Jooheon,” He says, body hanging off the door frame, “also Kihyun wants you to, and I quote, ‘get your jingleberry-ass son off the roof;.”

“He’s on the roof?!” 

“Yeah….”

“Doing what?!”

“Doing the hokey pokey,” he says with a smirk, “No, hyung! What else could he possibly be doing besides putting up Christmas decorations?”

“The company building is five stories high!!!”

“Yeah, that’s why Kihyunnie is trying his darndest to get him down from there. The usual things aren’t working either. Ki tried offering his favorite food, Minnie offered hugs and cuddles, Changkyun promised they could play games together. I promised that he could dress you and Hoseok up as reindeer. We’re really running out of ideas here, hyung, so if you could come help us, that would be great. Preferably now.”

 

Hyunwoo struggles to stand on his two feet, which had since gone to sleep since he has been kneeling on them for some time. Whatever’s happening, it has to be dire or else Hyungwon wouldn’t be so worried about it. Despite his dongsaeng’s nonchalant delivery, he could tell the other was nervous. He has good reason to be, as he finds out, taking in the sight of Kihyun being anchored to the porch by Hoseok while Jooheon merrily decks the halls-- er, building in Christmas lights. The series of rope pulleys looks of questionable strength, and the lines spanning in every which way don't make the odds any better.

 

“Joohoney, you know it isn’t safe up there.” Hyunwoo shouts, earning a smile and a wave from their resident Christmas enthusiast.

“I know, I’ll be down in a little bit, I just need to finish getting the lights around the first and second floors and then put the light up stars and then--”

“Honey…” The Dad Voice comes out with no second thought, “Come down to me please.”

 

There’s something about The Dad Voice that makes everyone listen to him. It’s a certain authority Hyunwoo carries that signifies that he IS the leader. Jooheon rappels down the ropes with some mild sulking but eventually he takes down his set up and comes inside. 

 

“Ugh, why does that work for you and not for me?” Kihyun grumbles, and honestly Hyunwoo has no idea, but at least now Jooheon is on solid ground, and that's all he can ask for now. 

  
**

 

Changkyun looks like he wants to cry. He clearly hasn't slept in days.  
  
Hyunwoo invites him camp out in his room, which is the farthest from Jooheon's and well-insulated. About 20 minutes later, he's met with four more pairs of eyes looking at him, pleading. And it would be cruel of him to turn away his bandmates in this time of need, so he steps aside and lets them fight over floor space. Not like it'll matter- by the time they fall asleep, Minhyuk and Hyungwon will end up strewn across one another while Hoseok clings onto Kihyun like the younger is a teddy bear. Changkyun may or may not end up in the MinWon pile or clinging onto Kihyun from the other side, or maybe he'll end up cuddled into Hyunwoo.  
  
Downstairs, Jooheon is playing Santa Claus is Coming to Town with the bass turned up to 11. Kihyun shoves a towel under the door.

  
**

 

Hoseok's stomach grumbles as he comes out of his studio cave for food. The smell of cinnamon rolls and cakes are almost too much.  
The sight in the kitchen though....  
That's WAY too much.  
There are fourteen trays of baked goods on racks placed all over the house. One is sitting on top of the tv. Another is on a bookcase. Another is on Hyunwoo, who has miraculously not woken up yet. In the kitchen, Jooheon is viciously dabbing to Silent Night.

Hyungwon comes downstairs, stays a moment, then turns on his heels and walks straight back up. They're all still a little traumatized by the Great Gingerbread War of 2017. No one is allowed to say the phrase 'smothered and covered' anymore.

 

Their second oldest members steps as quietly as he can out of the room, as though making too much noise would unleash Jooheon's Christmas gusto onto him. "Wait for me!" Hoseok hisses after him. 

 

**

 

On the ninth day of Happy Crisis aka the fifth night of everyone sleeping together, they're all on the floor while Jooheon is downstairs doing advanced arts and crafts. Changkyun invested in the most sound-proof headphones possible and is in another dimension. Hyungwon is sleeping away.   
  
"When is this going to stop?" Minhyuk groans as he tries to block out the sound of cordless drills with Hyunwoo's beefy arm.  
  
"December 26."

  
**

It's another early December morning and The Beefy Brigade is attempting to wrastle bedding out of their rapper's hands with some shouting and wild distractions, and man, this was not the what Hyunwoo imagined he would be doing when he joined Starship. He’d been awoken by the rush of coldness over his body, his limbs wrapping in close to preserve what little warmth he had left. Through his blurry vision, he could see a Jooheon-shaped splotch of color abscond with the goods. And now….  
  
"YOU CANT BUILD A FORT OUT OF OUR BEDDING." Hoseok screams, tugging on one end of Kihyun's comforter. Despite looking squishy, Jooheon could be wildly strong in times of need. This was one of those times. He pulls back with a hiss.  
  
"NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE YOU CAN'T." Jooheon screams back from atop his mountain of his (and his bandmates') bedding. 

Minhyuk ends up having to whip out the extra blankets and pillows, the sets they keep on the top shelf in the closet in case of emergency, so Hoseok can take the comforter back to Kihyun's bed. 

  
**

 

Every year, Starship insists on everyone going out to eat at this one homey place way out in the middle of nowhere where no one will look for them. It's more out of tradition than the food being good. It doesn't help that the restaurant is called 'Grandma's House'. The second the words leave their manager's mouth, Jooheon loses his shit.  
  
The first five minutes of the car ride aren't bad. No really, they aren't.  
  
It's when Jooheon starts getting antsy and asks their driver to put his CD in the player that the mood suddenly changes. The car becomes some kind of wild one-person disco, and everyone's general lack of enthusiasm doesn't seem to stop him. Hyunwoo is about to ask him to please, if he would, stop dancing because there wasn't enough space and he was this close to hitting him each time he played air drums, when he's violently jerked to the left. His left arm comes out like an emergency seatbelt to keep the two members in their seats as they swerve out of the way of a deer, the tires screeching loudly against the pavement as the swing onto the shoulder. It's quiet while they all process what just happened. 

  
"That.... That was...." Hoseok has his hands on his knees. He looks like he's about to pass out, but luckily he's got Changkyun and Kihyun beside him to keep him stablized.   
  
From the front seat, Hyungwon slowly removes his now-crooked eye mask. "That was terrifying. Let's never-- Hey are you ok?"

All eyes turn to Jooheon. Is he alright? Why is he crouched over like that? He didn't get too much brain damage, did he???

"That was the loudest SKKKRT I've ever heard..." When he looks up, they can see his eyes brimming with tears. "It's a Christmas miracle!"

Six performers and one driver sit with their mouths agape. Hyunwoo puts his headphones back in and tries to forget the last four minutes.

 

**

 

For all of Jooheon's excitement leading up to Christmas, Hyunwoo always expects the actual day to be a complete disaster, but it goes smoothly each time. He wakes up to the sound of giggling as Jooheon climbs into bed next to him, a disappointed-but-not-surprised Kihyun and a less-than-pleased-to-be-conscious Changkyun and a still-sweating-because-Jooheon-grabbed-him-from-the-gym Hoseok behind him. 

"Come on, let's go exchange gifts!" He says, and he's gone again, this time crawling into Minhyuk's bundle of blankets. 

They gather around their living room and give one another little things, reminders that they pay attention to the things each of them like and dislike, and the funny things that they do. Little quirks that they each find endearing about one another, memories they'll share forever. At the end of the night, they watch Elf, Jooheon propped with his head on Kihyun's lap (so he can play with his hair), his torso on Minhyuk's lap (so Minnie can play with his soft tummy) and his legs on Hoseok's lap (because his thighs make the best cushion). 

 

"Merry Christmas, you guys...." Jooheon mumbles right before he drifts to sleep completely. 

 

 _Hm._ Hyunwoo thinks as he looks at his members.  _Merry_ _Christmas indeed..._

 

**

 

They watch helplessly as Minhyuk, who's bringing in his third large box of decorations in, moves at record speeds while muttering to himself. He's got party music playing and the TV on the news channel.  
  
Kihyun topples over in defeat. Hyungwon sleeps in frustration. And Hyunwoo... Isn't sure what to do with himself.  
  
"Is that....?" Jooheon whispers just loud enough for Changkyun to hear. The maknae nods solemnly.  
  
“Minhyuk is getting ready for New Year's.”


End file.
